


Just Let Go

by SweetInsanityWrites (SweetInsanityArts)



Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Elder McKinley cant say fuck, First Kiss, Fluff, I'm Sorry, Light Angst, M/M, Mention of blood, Plotless Fluff basically, Swearing, i just cant help myself, light internalized homophobia, why am i like this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-11-19 02:07:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18129551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetInsanityArts/pseuds/SweetInsanityWrites
Summary: Connor can't say bad words.





	Just Let Go

**Author's Note:**

> yet another one-shot based on a @notbomlondon tweet
> 
> I was originally trying to write a dumb crack piece but ended up with random, slightly angsty, fluff, I dont even know anymore
> 
> I give up

None of the Elders of District 9 could remember just how and when things changed this drastically for the missionaries in the small Ugandan village.

Obviously, being called a failure and having their missions almost cancelled was the first big step away from the strict rules and traditions of the Latter Day Saints.

After that, everything just kinda became a blur. 

 

If they were honest with themselves, many of the young men had doubted the perfect idealistic view they’d been taught all their life for a long time now, some even before they’d come to Uganda and seen violence and death around every corner. 

 

Despite the horrors around them, Elder McKinley had clung on to his beliefs until the very last moment. 

He’d fought his doubts, his thoughts, his feelings for years and years, eager for the approvement of his family, desperate to feel like he belonged. 

For a short moment, Uganda had given him that. 

The men had, under his guidance and Elder Cunningham’s strange, mysterious methods, baptised many Africans into the church and gained approval and praise from their families and superiors. 

But even then, there had been that strange emptiness haunting him at day and the terrible nightmares that robbed him of his sleep. 

 

When everything had fallen to pieces, Connor had felt strangely free. 

He’d looked at Kevin Price, standing amidst the broken pieces, encouraging them all to not give up hope on their mission and their community, and for the first time since he was a little boy, he’d just let himself feel.

Feel the admiration for the other man, feel the excitement when he’d danced with him, feel his inexplicable desire to hold his hand.

That night there had been no Hell Dream.

 

Nobody had made a new order or written down new rules, they hadn’t even officially declared their old rules and traditions for ineffective. 

Somehow, they all just kinda… stopped. 

 

Sometimes the Elders went out in different pairs than the companions they’d been assigned, sometimes they stayed out until late into the night, sometimes they slept in. 

They drank coffee and shared liquor with the locals, they wore printed shirts and some of them even stopped shaving. 

 

Their strange new church grew strong, their community and friendships grew even stronger. 

 

***

 

“FUCK! GOD-FUCKING-DAMMIT!””

 

Connor flinched, both at the, uh, choice of words and the fact that it was Kevin Price shouting them. 

While he had accepted the fact that he may or may not have the strong desire to put his mouth near the other man’s face, he had strongly avoided having to be in the same room with him without at least one other Elder as a shield, to protect him from himself. 

 

The screaming was followed shortly by a loud bang, then the sound of shattering glass.

Taking a deep breath, Elder McKinley straightened his back and marched into the kitchen.

 

At first sight, the scene looked strangely beautiful, orange sunlight bouncing off the sea of shards surrounding the silhouette of Elder Price, making him look like a fallen angel. 

Then Connor saw the scarlet drops of blood sprayed over the floor. 

 

“Elder Price, what happened, are you okay?” He rushed towards him, glass crunching under his neat shoes. 

The Elder turned towards him, nursing his injured hand if the free one, his face pulled in a half-angry, half-scared pout. “I didn’t think it’d actually break…” He murmured. 

 

“Did… did you punch the window?” 

Connor asked, his eyes darting back and forth between the white shirt starting to soak with red and the frightened look on the other man’s face. 

Finally regaining enough clear thought to remember First Aid Training, he grabbed the nearest kitchen towel and wrapped it around Kevin’s hands, pulling him away from the shards and pushing him to sit down on a chair. 

 

“It didnt close properly, I just wanted to … y’know… slam it shut.” He said darkly.

Connor shook his head, sitting down with the First Aid kit. “Sometimes you boys are a whole pack of uncontrolled testosterone.” He gently took Kevin’s injured hand and dabbed it clean with a damp cloth. The other man winced. 

“My mum would say it’s the small sins that god punishes first.” Connor grinned. 

 

Kevin chuckled, leaning closer. “Are you telling me you’ve never said a bad word before?” He whispered mischievously.

Elder McKinley shook his head. “Not even as an angry child. Granny used to tell me when you say bad words, the angels cry.” 

“They’re grown men, they can handle it.” Elder Price answered.

 

Connor rolled his eyes and sighed, trying hard not to blush over the way the man’s voice got lower and deeper as he came closer. 

He busied himself with applying the bandages, aware of the warm, brown eyes watching him closely, his chest tightening at the gentle touch of skin, holding Kevin’s hand in his. 

Wordlessly, he took the uninjured hand and gently wiped off the remaining red stains. 

When he was done, he hesitated. 

The sense of wrongness and shame crept over him, met by the overwhelming urge to press his lips against the pale skin. 

 

Kevin sighed.

“You know,” He said softly. “I think you could feel much better if you just learned to let go.” 

“... I don’t think I can.” 

“Sure you do.” Elder Price leaned in even closer, moving his hand so their palms were pressed together. “Do you trust me?” 

Connor inhaled sharply. 

What was he doing? Where was this going? Why did it feel so right?

 

He reflected on the question. 

The man had betrayed his friend, broken more rules than he cared to remember, walked straight into a warlord’s camp and casually punched through windows when something annoyed him. 

Logically, Elder Price didn’t sound like a trustworthy person.

Though maybe exactly that should be the reason why he was. Someone who tried to do what’s right, who tried fit into a greater plan, who was willing to believe in change. 

 

“I do.” Connor whispered. 

“Let go.” Kevin said softly. “Let me catch you.” He curled his fingers between Connor’s, holding his hand tightly. It felt as though he was unlocking all the boxes, breaking through all the walls so carefully constructed over years of trying not to be who he was. 

The other man’s face was so close, his lips looked so soft, he smelled of cologne and sweat. All it would take was a little moving forward. 

Ever since his first dream, all those years ago, Connor had fought against wanting but now it was in closer reach than it had ever been before. 

 

“I’m gay.” 

His heart skipped a beat, shocked by his own words. He’d never actually said it out loud before, hadn’t even dared to think out the thought in his own mind. 

Tears stung his eyes.

 

Kevin smiled warmly. “I’m bisexual.” He traced little circles with his thumb on the back of Connor’s hand. “And that’s okay. We’ll be okay.” 

Connor sighed and closed the gap between them, resting his forehead against Kevin’s.

It truly felt like letting go. Like falling. Like being caught. Being safe. 

 

When he felt the other man’s lips brush against his, all the boxes sprung open, all the walls came down. 

He was diving into the unknown, leaning into the kiss, his free hand grabbing into the soft, brown hair. 

The world around them disappeared and they were falling together. 

Connor gasped softly.

 

“oh fuck.”

**Author's Note:**

> please somebody send help


End file.
